Office Kidnappings
by Uriel Falcon
Summary: Greg decides to play a little trick on the office, and Sara decides that this could be a moment of great oppertunities for her own plans. Contains heavy CS, Oneshot.


Office Kidnappings

Yes, I do actually make fun of David Hasselhoff's singing. Don't like it... Well, If you think I'm being unreasonable.. TOO BAD, it's comedy and it's fanfiction! Contains slight CS... Don't like, don't read. I obviously don't own David Hasselhoff, or CSI.

Today, was the slowest shift in the history of Sara Sidle.

She had gotten all of her paperwork done, and with the help of her co-workers had finished the case they had that night within hours. She had helped Doc. Robbins with some of his paperwork, she had even gone around the office once or twice to offer helping hands to anyone who needed them. This was the one night that EVERYTHING was done. She couldn't even go out on the field, since she was maxed out on overtime.

So, now she was sitting with her feet up on her lab's desk, counting how many dots were on the ceiling. _5001, 5002, 5003, 5004..._ She recited in her mind. Sara sighed loudly, rubbing her eyes and running her hands through her hair. _Bloody Grissom, giving all the cases away, keeping me here... Damn bug man. _Sara cursed, grumbling to herself.

Sara snapped her head to look behind her as she heard a soft thud. _Strange, I haven't seen anyone come in..._ She wondered, listening for any other signs of company. When she found none, she turned back to counting the ceiling dots. She couldn't put herself to ease, however, and decided to take a look at the desk where she swore she heard something. As she stood up, she heard shuffling and a small bang from the desk. Sara tip-toed over to the desk, waiting to hear something else. She was rewarded with the sound of breathing. With a swift, silent movement, Sara vaulted over the desk, and yanked whoever was underneath the desk out and into the air. She stopped and stared.

"Greg? What the hell are you doing underneath the desk?" Sara asked, dropping Greg. He was dressed in mock-camouflage, with odd paint on his face. He shrugged.

"Well, there's no DNA to process, and I got bored when I found this costume stuff crammed in an old locker. I decided I would have some fun playing tricks in the office. I was going to sneak up on you, but you heard me. Only one so far." Greg explained, ducking down under the desk. "Duck down, I don't want anyone knowing that I'm sneaking around on them." Sara complied, although slowly, and with a confused look on her face.

"So, this is what you do when you're bored?" Sara asked, sitting down cross-legged. Greg nodded with a large grin on his face.

"Yup. But, since you know my secret... you have only two options..." Greg put on a serious face, leaning so that he could use shadows as drama. Sara's face remained very blank, but held some amusement in Greg's antics.

"And what are those options...?" She asked, playing along with his game.

"You either join me in my quest to prank, kidnap or entrap the office members... Or I'll make you listen to 14 hours of David Hasselhoff... SINGING!" Sara's eyes popped wide open, and her jaw dropped. As un-serious as this all was, under no circumstances would she EVER listen to something so... Repulsive.

"Fine, Greg, I'll play your game. What do I do?" Sara gave in. Besides, this might actually be fun, despite of the trouble they could actually get into. Greg beamed a smile.

"First, we get you some camouflage!" Greg exclaimed, grabbing a container of face paint from his back pocket. Sara blinked, and looked down at herself. She was already wearing a black sleeveless and some faded black jeans. All she did really need was the cheesy makeup. Greg took the four main colours, ( black, dark green, grey and light green) and began covering her arms in it. After those were done, which had taken a lot of paint, he covered her face in it. Sara had to hold back her laughter. This was probably the weirdest thing she had ever done at work.

"Okay, you're done. Now, here's the plan..."

Brass walked slowly down the quiet corridor, going to return his empty coffee mug to the break room. It was a boring day for him as well, which was a shock in Vegas. Brass stopped in front of an old supply closet, and rubbed his eyes. _What a long night..._ He thought.

WOOSH!

In an instant, Brass was tied and thrown into the supply closet. He also had a strip of duck tape across his lips. He tried to kick out, but the closet door shut. Brass swore he heard giggling of some sort, but it was probably just his disoriented mind playing tricks on him. He grumbled to himself. _Oh shit..._

Warrick walked out of the locker room, balancing a water bottle in his hand. The boring day had given him a chance to get a run outside without being disturbed. He turned the corner, but felt uneasy when he spotted one of the old, unused rooms open a tad. He walked closer, pushing the door open with his hand.

"Hello, is anyone in here?" Warrick called out, stepping into the room.

THUD!

Warrick let out a muffled yelp as he was ripped up into the air by his feet, feeling his arms being tied behind his back and something that resembled a sock being shoved in his mouth. He watched as two figures scuttled out of the room, giggling to themselves in a secretive manner. Warrick raised his eyebrow, though it was very upside down. _What the hell was that? _

Nick gently tossed his console down onto the couch, stretching like a lazy cat. Because of today, he had played through the game he brought 7 times in a row and there was no way he was going to do it again. He stood up, thinking he would go visit Sara in the back lab, or maybe go play cards with Greg. With a click, all the lights in the break room went off.

"Hey, what's the big idea?" Nick called out, irritation in his voice.

BANG!

With in a few fractions of a second, Nick felt himself being hogtied and shoved under the table, the feeling of cloth around his mouth. He tried to sit up, only succeeding in hitting his head against the bottom of the table. He groaned, but listened closely as he heard giggles from his assailants. _Who the hell giggles after a kidnapping?_

Grissom grumbled to himself as he attempted to finish up his mounds and mounds of paper work. He tossed his pen down, deciding that a book on the arachnid species would be much more interesting to keep him busy on this slow day. He stood up and reached for his bookshelf, and found that his book was missing. Grissom walked out of his office, ready to go find his book.

WHACK!

Grissom only heard a slight noise of movement as he was thrown back into his office, pushed on his back and tied up, eyes covered with some sort of mask and mouth with a cloth. He felt himself being crammed under his desk. Grissom blinked in confusion as he heard giggling from his captors, who had clicked off the lights. _That giggle sounds familiar..._

Catherine walked swiftly past the darkened break room towards her office, a folder under her arm. She stopped abruptly as she noticed Greg lunging at her from the corner of her eye. In a swift instant, she dodged him, and watched as he tumbled helplessly to the ground, creating a nice thudding sound. Catherine raised her eyebrow at his camouflage gear.

"Greg, what in the hell are you doing?" She asked, pulling Greg on his feet. Greg stuttered out a response that was all but audible, and he took off running. Catherine raised her eyebrow, and shook her head at his confusing antics. She continued on her way to her office. Catherine opened the door, turning and closing it without even looking towards her desk. She had no time to even turn around as someone pressed themselves up against her back, effectively pinning her to the door.

"Don't scream." Catherine heard just as she was about to shriek. _Wait, that's Sara's voice... _Catherine complied and didn't scream, though the shock of getting forced up against a door wasn't exactly a light thing for her to handle, however.

"Sara, what the hell are you doing? First, Greg takes a leap at me, and now you pin me to my own door." Catherine mumbled. She felt Sara's breath across her neck and ear.

"Greg and I had a little plan we put into effect... Now I've got you all to myself without the rest of the office to bug us..." Sara explained, turning Catherine around, still incredibly close. Catherine giggled at Sara's paint streaked face.

"Hehehe, you look cute as an army woman. But did you have to shut down the entire office? You could have waited till we got home..." Catherine giggled out. Sara shrugged, leaning in for a kiss.

"I could have, but I didn't. We'll go find them, after we dispose of the evidence. But before that, I'm getting what I want." Sara said a fraction of a second before she captured Catherine's lips in a fiery, passionate kiss. Catherine reached her arms up around Sara's neck, pulling her closer. Sara reached down and grabbed Catherine's thighs, pulling her up above her, and pressing her to the door.

After effectively cleaning up all of the gear, and disposing it back in the old locker, Sara and Greg decided it was time to put the rest of their plan into action. Catherine agreed to play along... If she ever caught her breath again. After finding and releasing all of their victims, Sara and Greg sat on the couch in the break room, awaiting the confused CSIs to arrive.

"I got thrown into a closet by some giggling kidnapper!" Brass explained in a furious manner, still rubbing tape residue off of his face. Warrick had a similar expression on his face.

"I was hung upside-down in the old office that we never use anymore. My attackers were giggling, too." He mentioned, his arms crossed over his chest. Nick was muttering to himself.

"I was shoved under the break room table by some giggling idiots." Nick grumbled, a pouting face cemented on his face. Grissom was muttering to himself.

"Thrown under my own desk... Damn insubordinate security, we could have lost important files. Let's hope the higher-ups won't hear about our 'Office Kidnappings', or we'll never hear the end of it." Grissom spoke aloud. Suddenly, all eyes were on Catherine.

"Well, seems like you all had bad experiences with these kidnappers..." Catherine raised her eyebrow as everyone began shooting her questions.

"Woah, slow down there, friends. I didn't say I wasn't attacked. I just, wasn't hogtied or thrown under things. And no, I didn't catch a look at my assailant." The rest of the team just sighed, and returned back to work, considering they had nothing on who had played this game on them. All except for Warrick.

"I have a feeling you're all hiding something... Oh, and Catherine... I was just wondering, where'd you get that hickey? It wasn't there this morning..." Warrick questioned, amusement in his eyes. Catherine's face flushed.

"Perhaps my assailant did a few things... Not that I didn't agree with being suddenly shoved against a wall and kissed furiously, but I would have liked to know who it had been." Catherine played, looking up at the ceiling fan. Warrick raised an eyebrow.

"May I ask why?" He prodded, trying to get something out of the blond. She smiled.

"Because I'd love to pay her back." Catherine tossed as she walked out of the break room. Warrick blinked. _Did she just say her, or was it my imagination?_ Warrick questioned in his own mind, walking out of the break room. Greg immediately gave Sara a punch in the shoulder.

"Ow! What was that for?" She asked, rubbing her shoulder. He grinned.

"You lucky dog, you!" Greg giggled out. Sara instantaneously covered his mouth.

"Greg, whatever you do, do not giggle. EVER." Sara stated, letting Greg go. He smiled.

"Sure thing, Ms. Suave." He joked, poking Sara's arm again. Her left eye twitched.

"..."

END


End file.
